Learn how to read your toddler’s emotional states, for example, tired, hungry, excited or sad. Provide reassurance to help them regulate feelings and emotions. You can do this by verbally labelling the feelings and helping your toddler with a solution, for example: “I see you are feeling tired? Let’s hug your toy doggie and sit down here for a while?” New Jersey Birth to Three Early Learning Standards. (2013). New Jersey Council for Young Children. Grolnick, W. S., & Farkas, M. (2002). Parenting and the development of children’s self regulation. In M. H. Bornstein (Ed.), Handbook of parenting: Vol. 5. Practical issues (2nd ed.,pp. 89–110). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. (Level III)
According to Kopp, between 12 and 18 months of age, children become capable of control, which involves the awareness of social demands and the ability to initiate, maintain, stop undesirable behaviour, and to comply with caregivers’ requests. By 24 months, they acquire self-control, which includes the ability to delay on request and begin to regulate behaviour, even in the absence of external monitors. At 36 months, children begin to be capable of self-regulation, or flexibility of control processes that meet changing situational demands.
After infancy, toddlers enter the stage where they are beginning to build motor and language skills that allow them to control some aspects of their environment, such as moving away from a loud noise or asking for something to eat. However, they continue to have strong emotions that far outweigh these emerging skills. In this developmental period, caregivers can begin to teach and model skills like waiting (brief delay of gratification) and using simple words to communicate feelings and needs. Adults are still mostly responsible for structuring a safe and manageable environment, as well as for providing comfort and reassurance when toddlers are upset.
Studies have also shown that child routines
A toddler’s self-regulation develops as language develops. Researchers have found that the growing mastery of language leads to the emergence of private speech. Private speech consists of children talking to themselves to guide their thinking about what they should do. This behaviour helps younger children to move from other-regulation to self-regulation. Cheyney, K., Wang, J., & Bettini, B. (2013). Make every word count: Using language as a bridge to self-regulation in early childhood settings. Dimensions of Early Childhood. 41(2), 11-17. (Level III) Vygotsky, L. S. (1978). Mind in society: The development of higher psychological processes. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press. (Level III)